>A year on!

>Just a note to myself as much as anything, that it was a year practically to the day that I gave that first ‘adhoc’ blood test. All for a sore throat which has never recurred since. It seems very wierd to think that I could have still been going on with the daily routine, not knowing that I have a potentially terminal cancer.

Hmmm, and which would have been better? Knowing you’re going to kick the bucket earlier than you’d expected but getting the opportunity to be checked, looked after and hopefully treated early enough to give better chances? And to do all those things in life you keep putting off ’till the kids are older/leave home/get married’

Or living in blissful ignorance of the truth and only finding out when it’s late in the day and potentially the symptoms are pretty awful.

I have to say, I don’t think I can answer that question. And woe betide anyone who tries to tell me what the answer is!!!! I am grateful to have those opportunities to live my life with Nick and the kids in a more fulfilling way…and to make sure that friends and family know how important they are to me. And my scenario has definitely meant that I know how much they all love me….and that’s not a bad thing to know! In fact, it’s a pretty fantastic thing to know!! (And while I’m in the mood I just want to say to you all (and you know who you are) that you have been absolute rocks to me in the last 10 months and words can’t thank you enough. I plan to stick around long enough to repay your friendship and support many times over!)

But I do wish that I didn’t have this noose hanging round my neck just waiting for some sod to kick the chair away!!! Oh well, live life for the moment, think the best and all that stuff hey. I’m so positive at the moment that I feel like I’ll live forever…and none of us are going to do that!!!

Right, better log on and do some work now.

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About Deb Gascoyne

I am wife of one, mother of two and a person in my own right :-) I have used my diagnosis of myeloma to allow me to focus on what I CAN achieve and not what I can't. My blog is a way of me spilling out....it is for me more than you I'm afraid. But if it helps you along the way, that is an absolute bonus for me :-)
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