Well my last post was definitely too soon to talk as I have spent the last 2 days feeling positive rubbish…if that isn’t a contradiction in terms!
We got down to the guest house in Mindhead fine, checked in, and went to bed. But that was as far as good went. I spent the whole night feeling sick, and basically the whole of the last 2 days. Not nice. I spent most of Saturday in bed….good hols….. 😦
It’s also been really hard to sleep. At first I thought that was having the kids in with us (which obviously didn’t help), but after having moved to our cottage last night, I think my body is just playing games with me. I seem to go hot/ cold, feel awake/ shattered etc etc. It’s a horrid feeling as I can’t work out if I’m coming or going!
Anyway, we are in sunny devon now, and on day 4 since the cyclophosphomide was administered….and I feel ever so slightly more human. So we’re going to try out the beach at Wollacombe and see if I can cope with it as a day.
It has all made me more than nervous about what is to come with the transplant 2 weeks today….if I can’t cope with this, how on earth will I manage with that whole process……dread is a total understatement of what I’m feeling at the moment. And when people say it is all for the greater good and that it is in a good cause…..well I find that hard when you consider I started all of this symptom free…..this treatment is far worse than what I had happening before…i.e. nothing!