Well, I am finally home!! What a relief!
My consultant came in today and told me I could go. Ironically though, my neutrophils have gone lower than they were before!!! So why I can go home tomorrow, but couldn’t yesterday, is beyond me. He has given me strict instructions though that it is on the condition that I am remarkably sensible, wait a while for visitors, and don’t go overdoing things. As if I would…… So I’m afraid visiting is out of the question for a number of days at least and even then, it will only be close family – I haven’t seen my parents for over 3 weeks (what with my mum having had her own health issues) and I haven’t seen a number of my sisters either with them either being ill or away, or me keeping them away while I was in hospital.
So. They told me at 11am that I could go home, and eventually 4.5 hours later my drugs arrived and I managed to get out of the place. The time wasn’t totally useless; I did manage to have a small sleep and we also shaved my hair off. The hair has been a real conundrum. An awful lot had fallen out, but there was still a lot there and while I am still shedding a bit, nowhere near what I was before. So the question was whether to shave it or not. The thing was, it no longer looked like it had any style anyway, and looked like a head of babyhair. So in the end we decided to go for the Sigourney Weaver look – sadly not the Demi Moore/ Gail Porter look – don’t quite have the looks for that one!!!! Nick really likes it – I think I look like an escaped convict!
But without meaning to sound like a bit of a moaner who is never happy, it is proving a tougher transition to how I expected. I knew in my heart of hearts that it wouldn’t just make everything right coming home, but nothing has changed in how I feel physically and that has been a bit difficult. I got home, and went straight to bed for a couple of hours, but when I woke up, I felt physically and mentally exhausted. I just wanted to cry.
It feels so unfair to Nick who has been superb as usual. Nothing is too much to do for me, and when I had come down, it was to a lovely dinner which I barely touched. I know he doesn’t mind it and that helps a lot, but I just wish that the recouperation when you got home, was much much faster. Anyway, hopefully I’ll get a good nights sleep tonight and that will all help 🙂