Day 16 – HOME!!!

Well, I am finally home!! What a relief!

My consultant came in today and told me I could go. Ironically though, my neutrophils have gone lower than they were before!!! So why I can go home tomorrow, but couldn’t yesterday, is beyond me. He has given me strict instructions though that it is on the condition that I am remarkably sensible, wait a while for visitors, and don’t go overdoing things. As if I would…… So I’m afraid visiting is out of the question for a number of days at least and even then, it will only be close family – I haven’t seen my parents for over 3 weeks (what with my mum having had her own health issues) and I haven’t seen a number of my sisters either with them either being ill or away, or me keeping them away while I was in hospital.

So. They told me at 11am that I could go home, and eventually 4.5 hours later my drugs arrived and I managed to get out of the place. The time wasn’t totally useless; I did manage to have a small sleep and we also shaved my hair off. The hair has been a real conundrum. An awful lot had fallen out, but there was still a lot there and while I am still shedding a bit, nowhere near what I was before. So the question was whether to shave it or not. The thing was, it no longer looked like it had any style anyway, and looked like a head of babyhair. So in the end we decided to go for the Sigourney Weaver look – sadly not the Demi Moore/ Gail Porter look – don’t quite have the looks for that one!!!! Nick really likes it – I think I look like an escaped convict!

But without meaning to sound like a bit of a moaner who is never happy, it is proving a tougher transition to how I expected. I knew in my heart of hearts that it wouldn’t just make everything right coming home, but nothing has changed in how I feel physically and that has been a bit difficult. I got home, and went straight to bed for a couple of hours, but when I woke up, I felt physically and mentally exhausted. I just wanted to cry.

It feels so unfair to Nick who has been superb as usual. Nothing is too much to do for me, and when I had come down, it was to a lovely dinner which I barely touched. I know he doesn’t mind it and that helps a lot, but I just wish that the recouperation when you got home, was much much faster.  Anyway, hopefully I’ll get a good nights sleep tonight and that will all help 🙂



About Deb Gascoyne

I am wife of one, mother of two and a person in my own right :-) I have used my diagnosis of myeloma to allow me to focus on what I CAN achieve and not what I can't. My blog is a way of me spilling is for me more than you I'm afraid. But if it helps you along the way, that is an absolute bonus for me :-)
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4 Responses to Day 16 – HOME!!!

  1. Great news Deb, home at last !! You’ll get there, just give it time !! Regards, Jeff and Frances


  2. feresaknit says:

    Congrats – it is soooooooooooo nice to sleep in your own bed again. 😀 xx


  3. Yes, it is great to be at home, but important to realize that the healing process takes awhile – sleep helps, keeping hydrated is critical (!) and just being aware that you have only gotten 15 days into what really will take at least 100 more to get you to where you are feeling more normal… not meant to discourage you, but like running a marathon, you have to see the distance and pace yourself for it.
    You are so fortunate to have Nick as your caregiver; and don’t apologize for not allowing visitors right now… it’s YOUR life. Intending that every day in little ways you are feeling better and better!!


  4. So glad you’re home now Debs. I’m coming up just behind you. I’m on SCT Day +2, so still feeling fine. No problems so far, but the waiting to be ill is rather weird, isn’t it?

    I’m glad you’ve moved to WordPress, as I can now subscribe and follow you. You’re welcome to subscribe to mine too, if it’s helpful.

    I understand your frustration, but I bet you already know that it will probably be months rather than days before you’re feeling at all like ‘normal’ again. I hope you allow yourself that time, with your wonderful husband and kids spurring you on gently!

    Congratulations for getting this far and best wishes for continued GENTLE recovery!
    Jet x


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