Day 18 – A Long old slog

Well, I think yesterday was one of the most awful days I’ve had since the transplant – how ironic since it was my first day to be happy and home!

I had a reasonably good night…..I did wake a few times, and seem to have a lot of vivid nightmares which isn’t much fun, but at least I was in my own bed and wasn’t being woken to have my obs taken as soon as I’d got to sleep. It was lovely to be sleeping next to my husband for the first time in 3 weeks…..just his presence was enough to keep me happy.

But then yesterday daytime arrived. I spent most of the day sleeping or being sick…..part of that was my fault as I didn’t take my anti-sickness tablet onFriday night….thought I didn’t need them anymore. But then once I’d started being sick the next day, I think that I keep throwing up the tablets I was taking. Finally by last night I had stopped, and touch wood, haven’t been sick yet today. I can’t really afford to keep being sick. I have lost quite a lot of weight in the last 3 weeks, and I can’t imagine to lose over a stone in that time, can be particularly good for you. I know it is nice in lots of ways (I had become massively overweight on the steroids) but it isn’t a way I would choose in the future.

We did go for a short walk yesterday night….I thought it might help me sleep last night. We only walked up to the local park, but it was nice to get out and get some fresh air. It didn’t make much difference with the sleep last night, and the nightmares came back, along with periods of being unable to sleep, but hey, it could have been even worse if I hadn’t walked at all. I think I might try a sleeping tablet tonight and see how that goes.

Anyway, today is a new day. Nick has just gone to pick the kids up from his parents in the Midlands. The house has seemed so quiet and empty without them. That will change massively once they’re back, and I’m pretty nervous on how it will impact on me, but I am so so looking forward to seeing them. We are really lucky that my sister from Beijing is back tonight to help this week. I don’t know what I would do without her. And then one of my other sisters is having them for a couple of days next week which is great too – I think it will all just help me to ease my way back into things.

Right going to grab a sleep before they return.


About Deb Gascoyne

I am wife of one, mother of two and a person in my own right :-) I have used my diagnosis of myeloma to allow me to focus on what I CAN achieve and not what I can't. My blog is a way of me spilling is for me more than you I'm afraid. But if it helps you along the way, that is an absolute bonus for me :-)
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3 Responses to Day 18 – A Long old slog

  1. My thoughts are with you, Debs, while I’m sitting here waiting for my counts to drop. I’ve just been given a chart showing the figures… nothing like some hard facts to help you feel a bit more in control, eh?

    Hope your easing back into things proceeds smoothly. Glad you’ve got such loving support around you. x


  2. Daily exercise in moderation does help with sleeping, and it is understandable that you are a little anxious about the household ‘returning to normal,’ as you continue to recover. Perhaps there are some things the children can do to be helpful without sacrificing their childhood… are they reading yet? Having them practice reading to you can be a restful way to have good quality time with each one… just an idea.


  3. Those nightmares may be due to meds. There are quite a few that cause nightmares. Hoping you start feeling better. I’d love to shed some weight too but that way is surely not the desired way. I know it seems of little consulation now but sometimes I think the sicker the Melphalan makes you, the better it works on the MM. My husband tolerated the transplant well. Mind you, he was not thrilled, but never actually threw up and didn’t get diarrhea either. I know of one man who felt nothing and said it was as if he never got the chemo. Both of their transplants didn’t work. Tim and I both would have rather had him feel worse but have a successful transplant so here’s hoping that’s exactly what is going on with you.


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