Day 33 post SCT

How lucky am I to have such lovely support around me….people who are so prepared to read, listen and help with useful advice. Thank you to everyone for your comments on fb and on here……I know I haven’t responded to everyone but I do read and appreciate everything that people say.

I’ve spent the last couple of days weaning off most of the drugs I was on….I’ve knocked the anti-emetics on the head, and most of the others too….just one more to go. Funnily, despite the neuropathy remaining, I forgot to take the tablets for them and have realised they’re not helping anyway….typical!!! So I’m cutting them down too. I think I need to go back to the hospital about the neuropathy….I don’t want to take drugs that aren’t helping and they had talked about referring me to the Pain Team and a specialist so I think I’m going to push for that so that we can try to get a good resolution.

The Prof said to me that most of the tablets cause drowsiness, so it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that today I felt a bit more awake….that and the fact that I didn’t have a sleeping tablet last night seems to have helped no end. Today I woke up around the time Nick went to work and whilst I dosed until around 10ish, that was all it was….and then I was up until nearly 2pm before I needed a sleep. I’m really pleased with that as I’ve been sleeping far more than that recently….it may be a one off, but I’m hoping that if I can keep off the sleeping tablets, that it won’t be. I didn’t sleep well last night, but it wasn’t tossing and turning all night so that was all good.

I’ve still got some work to do on my mental state of mind though. I feel so sad so much of the time, and today, despite having more energy, I had no will to do anything of any consequence and spent most of the day watching DVD’s and lazing in bed…not good at all. And then my friend came round, and I missed her as I was in the kitchen and my phone was upstairs so that was even more gutting……especially when she had brought me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers which she had to leave on the doorstep :-(. Still, after my sleep I pulled myself together a bit more and did some labelling of school uniform, a bit of ironing and a bit of clearing up. And then when Nick got home from work, we went for a good half hour or so walk which was nice…really good to get out and about…so just need to motivate myself to do that during the day when he’s not here.

I need to push myself to do more during the day, especially while the kids aren’t here….I definitely feel more ready for visitors although the thing is, I don’t really fancy the whole kids thing which is hard as practically everyone I know has kids!! But I find my own children hard work at the moment, so the idea of other people’s is a bit beyond me still. But if people want to come in for half an hour for a cuppa, drop me a line!! Maybe it will help cheer me up a bit…could certainly do with that! Nick suggested my last post should have been called ‘Moody Cow’!! I think he was right as much as I hate to admit it. I’ll try to step it up each post now!



About Deb Gascoyne

I am wife of one, mother of two and a person in my own right :-) I have used my diagnosis of myeloma to allow me to focus on what I CAN achieve and not what I can't. My blog is a way of me spilling is for me more than you I'm afraid. But if it helps you along the way, that is an absolute bonus for me :-)
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