Time to think

It’s been a funny few weeks with a real mix of emotions.

Overall I feel like it’s been quite a good few weeks….strange really as I’ve had a week with a pulled muscle so bad I would put it on a par with labour (yes that bad!). It involved the compulsory trip to A&E which seems to come with any illness I get….while doctors once used to just tell me to go home and rest if I complained about anything, now they have to send me to get checked out! Better safe than sorry, but it can be quite frustrating and a little bit scary too. But as soon as an embolism had been ruled out, I was pretty confident that it was just a pulled muscle/ trapped nerve, and sure enough, 3 days later, it disappeared.

But something that has really affected me is that a lovely online friend of mine with MM is losing his wife to a really sudden cancer diagnosis. I don’t know them that well, but I have been in correspondence with him since the early days of my diagnosis (he has asymptomatic myeloma). They have had so many things go wrong for them in the past couple of years that this is just heartbreaking to hear about. He is such a lovely guy and I get the feeling that they are just a loving family. I wish I could do more to help them. It seems so unfair, but these things always are to the people involved.

Another friend who had her transplant is about to come out of hospital. And that made me more aware of how lucky I was when I went in. She ended up with pneumonia while she was in there and it sounds like it was a very close thing. It’s tough for everyone who goes through a stem cell transplant, but when you realise just HOW bad it can get, you realise how easy you had it yourself. So, all in all, I’m feeling like a pretty lucky person at the moment (in-between the sad moments!!! lol!)

It seems to put other things into perspective, and at the moment, I’m finding it a little hard to concentrate on the ball and processing the information for that. We are very close to sending out all the information now. I’m just hoping desperately that we can get some good sponsors for the event…..I’ll be cold calling every business I can think of in a couple of weeks time!!

Anyway, it’s half term at the moment and I’ve been busy doing stuff with the kiddies which has been nice. One of my lovely sisters and her husband offered to have the kids for a weekend so tomorrow we’re off to London…..48 hours of adult time together should be lovely and is definitely much needed. I’m hoping to get tickets for Phantom of the Opera too which would be amazing as we’ve never seen it.


About Deb Gascoyne

I am wife of one, mother of two and a person in my own right :-) I have used my diagnosis of myeloma to allow me to focus on what I CAN achieve and not what I can't. My blog is a way of me spilling out....it is for me more than you I'm afraid. But if it helps you along the way, that is an absolute bonus for me :-)
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2 Responses to Time to think

  1. Hello Deb,
    I have been browsing through your posts and enjoyed reading them. You and I are on a similar timeline. My journey began in December of 2009. I was diagnosed with a plasmacytoma in the pleura and multiple myeloma in January of 2010. I have had radiation, chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant. As you said above, “It’s been a funny few weeks with a real mix of emotions.” I couldn’t agree more. That is such a good description of many times throughout this medical odyssey. I just recently started my blog, Compelled CLarity. So far, it consists of publishing my journal which I didn’t start until about nine months after diagnosis.

    I wish you the best as you continue along on this odyssey – it truly is an odyssey. It is comforting to know we are not alone.

    My best regards to you,
    Carole Leigh Ingram
    Marysville, Washington USA


  2. Hi Deb
    as you know I am about a month or two behind you post stem cell transplant and can totally relate to what you say. I go from feeling lucky and invincible to feelings of desperation and worry about when the myeloma is going to come back and stressing about every little ache and pain. I am trying to find a balance but it isnt easy. I too have started a blog like the above commentator quite a while after diagnosis about living in remission.
    Hope you had a great weekend in London!
    All the best


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