Post 4 – Blah de blah de blah!

Ok well I’m not writing enough of these posts at the moment….I think it’s partly because I’m not 100% sure what to write about all of the time. I wanted to write about more serious aspects of myeloma but that is quite hard to do when I’m currently in remission. I’ve found that because of that, I subconsciously remove myself from the nitty gritty of what myeloma is and the side effects and things. So it makes it harder to write about it! It is also hard to write about it when I know so many people who are going through treatment….I would hate to upset anyone by making assumptions about treatment/ feelings etc and I know myself that when you are removed slightly, it is harder to be as realistic about it. So I need some ideas…if you have questions about myeloma, perhaps you can ask them and I can focus on those? Or if you’d rather I just posted about random things and my challenges, then that would be good to know too!

I had my last appointment a couple of weeks ago and am relieved to report that everything is still stable. I have to say that I let out a sigh of relief. It sounds silly, but I had seen a tiny tiny blip for a couple of weeks and was worried it was the start of my paraprotein (see post 1) going up and me beginning to relapse. But I’m back down to my normal level and all is good again! Yay! The one thing I would say about myeloma is that once you are diagnosed with it, you are always living with an uncertainty. And whilst it is easy to be positive a lot of the time (if you are lucky enough like me to be in remission), you always have moments of doubt and there is always a slight reality in the back of your mind, that you could relapse at any stage. So as much as I spend most of my time being very optimistic about the future, it only takes something small to make me worry sometimes. But for now I can breathe easy and keep on with my Challenges!

So what is Challenge No.5? To run 40km over 4 days. 

I must be absolutely barking mad. For those of you who don’t know me very well, I absolutely HATE running. But I am very jealous of those people who love it, who can do it for free, can work it around their families, and probably mainly, who are able to control their weight by doing it regularly. And this is why I decided to put something fairly significant down for my 40 Challenges B440. 

A few people have suggested me getting lots of people to do the 40km with me so that it wasn’t too much for me to take on along with the other challenges. But the whole idea for me was to make sure I’d given myself every chance of falling in love with running and the only way I’ll do that is if I’ve tried doing it really hard. 

So when I first started, I couldn’t even do 2km without stopping a bit…and I was running at 7.5mins per km……pretty slow for any established runner I know! But now, whilst I still haven’t got to the point of loving running, I am up to running 5km (on the flat) without too many problems….and today, I managed to do an average of 5.5mins per km….my fastest ever 🙂 I definitely need to stop worrying about speed and start building on distance if I’m going to reach my target, but it is nice when you suddenly break a personal record!

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I’ve been really lucky that a group of my friends have all started running at the same time as me…they’ve called the group the ‘Jigglers’ – will leave that to your imagination! Whilst we don’t always run together, the fact that we all map our runs online, means that we support each other and keep each other going. The psychological support is fantastic for me and without it I think I would already have stopped. But instead, even when I was ill, I started back running asap and at the moment, despite being in Manchester with work, I have been for a 4.5km run! 

So overall I’m feeling really proud of myself. And what with only having another 9 days to stay off the alcohol, nuts and crisps, I’m close to ticking off another challenge…which is a good thing really as I’m not quite ticking them off quickly enough at the moment! 

If you fancy checking out my challenges, click on the tab at the top of this page – 40 Challenges B4 40 where you can find out what they are and how to donate if you fancy supporting me financially (You can’t blame me for trying!) www.justgiving.com/Deb-Gascoyne

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About Deb Gascoyne

I am wife of one, mother of two and a person in my own right :-) I have used my diagnosis of myeloma to allow me to focus on what I CAN achieve and not what I can't. My blog is a way of me spilling out....it is for me more than you I'm afraid. But if it helps you along the way, that is an absolute bonus for me :-)
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