So I said that I was going to create a ‘Bucket List’, or perhaps more nicely put, a ‘List for Living’. So what is this list? And why do it?


Well, obviously it comes from the phrase ‘to kick the bucket’ and I think the general idea is that it is a list of things that you want to do before you die. This doesn’t have to be because you have a diagnosis hanging over you, but could just be because it is important not to take life for granted. None of us know exactly when our life as we know it, will be taken away from us. It may not be that you die, but could just be that something happens to stop you achieving those things that you thought you had forever to do. There was a great comedy-drama with Morgan Freeman andJack Nicholson film named ‘The Bucket List’ – they both had lung cancer and went off to fulfil their list of ‘wanna-do’s’. Perhaps not everyone’s cup of tea, but I loved it!

Anyway, I digress. George Washington Carver apparently said that ‘Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses’ – haha…..that is most definitely me! I tend to live my life saying why I can’t do things rather than why I can….so this List for Living is a chance for me to be more positive and to find the things that will really set me off! I suppose I am trying to embrace the idea that it is better to fail at doing something than never giving yourself a chance to succeed. And this list assumes that I will be around for 10-20 years (time to earn a fair bit of money to pay for most of them!)

I have put a couple on that I achieved in my first few years post diagnosis, namely organising a Charity Ball, and getting a job that I love doing. This list won’t ever necessarily be completed….according to the ‘guru’s’ of bucket lists, a good list never gets completed as you keep finding new things you want to achieve in life. And if any of you fancy giving me anymore ideas, I’m very happy to hear them. If I’m honest, this hasn’t really been my priority over the years as I’ve needed to just focus on raising my family, but maybe a few of them will get done over the years.

Here we go;

1. See my children go for their first day at Secondary School – DONE! I think I might add a new one of getting to see them finish secondary school!

2. Create scrapbooks for my two children (Harder for a non-creative like me than you think!) Hmmmm, started but certainly nowhere near finished!

3. Travel to Paris for lunch in a fabulous place.

4. Watch England play France or Ireland at Twickenham

5. Learn how to do photography well

6. Go to a spectacular Christmas Market in Germany or somewhere similar

7. Get a GREAT fundraising Job that I will love ( DONE – I hope! )

8. Organise a Fundraising Ball ( DONE )

9. Have a photo session with my whole family

10. Watch the New Years Eve fireworks in London with Nick and the children – DONE. we went one better than this (in my opinion!) and got to do this in Sydney instead in 2016

11. Fly first class on a plane

12. Go paragliding

13. Fly on a trapeze

14. Go to the Harry Potter Studios – (DONE – massive thank you to Paul for providing a family ticket – an amazing experience that we will all remember for years)

15. Have a dog – DONE So happy that two years after moving to the Midlands we introduced Marley into our family. As a cockapoo he is mad as a box of frogs but I hope he’ll look after me during my second transplant.

16. Go to Wimbledon on one of the major courts!

17. Have a go on a TV game show….deal or no deal?

18. Learn how to decorate cakes…..well! Started on cupcakes & also did our Christmas cake this year (2019) 😂

19. See one of the Seven Wonders of the World

20. Go whale watching in New Zealand

21. Sleep in a yurt – DONE! Our first year in the Midlands we were invited to go ”mums and sons’ camping. Not quite the glamorous idea I’d had in mind but hey ho!

22. Overcome my strange fear of heights (jumping off and walking across heights)

23. Learn how to do beautiful makeup (for more than one day!)

24. Eat at the Fat Duck

25. Go to Ascot (DONE!)

26. Learn to ski – I’ve started this one! 

27. Go on Safari in Africa

28. Ride in a Yellow Cab in New York

29. Rock climb a BIG cliff face

30. Release a book into the wild and know it has travelled the world.

31. Take my kids to a concert (1/2 Done – I took Rebecca to see Little Mix-that’s love for you! Still to take Sam somewhere)

32. Visit Schloss Leopoldskron from the Sound of Music

33. Reach 40 and have a big party (DONE – fab party on the 24th Jan 2015)

34. Reach 50 and have an even bigger party!

35. Learn to change a tyre.

36. Drive an open top sports car for a day on a beautiful sunny day

37. Have an evening out drinking fine champagne! (DONE- thanks to Nickolls & Perks, Stourbridge) 

38. Go camping with a big group of friends and family

39. Cook a full Indian meal (well!)

40. Understand how social media works properly so that I can do private work for small businesses DONE – I now own my own small social media business – Gascoyne Solutions.


7 Responses to LIST FOR LIVING

  1. Pingback: About time too….. | Debs' Journey with Myeloma

  2. mesholily says:

    hi, I am Mesho 32 years old
    you have an amazing list. good for you.
    I too have a number of list and dreams to do, but myeloma kills everything i want
    I was diagnosed with myeloma in 2015. at that time I was accepting my life and my pain and every thing.
    I was in Remission until the last month
    it was the SHOKE for me. Myeloma has returned again.
    I am very sad . I thought that I will stay in Remission for at least 3 years . I am still young and have a lot of dreams to do in my life and my dreams. I don’t want to return to the same time I have been through at therapy.
    sometimes I decide not to stop my therapy. but when I think of my family and friends I change my mind.
    I am too scared I can’t sleep at night from thinking. why all those things happening to me . but THANK GOD I am breathing now and my family with me .


    • Deb Gascoyne says:

      Hi Mesho. It’s great to hear from you although I’m really sorry to hear about your remission – that is awful and must be so much harder the younger you are and the more that it feels you’re being deprived of. Where are you living? I will keep hoping that there is a new treatment out there that puts you in a far better remission than first time…what treatment have you had? SCT, chemo? Hopefully depending on where you live, there are some great trials out there for you?
      So pleased your family are looking out for you….my family means the world. Lots of thoughts going your way. Xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • mesholily says:

        Hi, and thank you for your concern.
        my therapy plan was chemo with radio therapy then stem cell transplant . after the transplant I was in remission I just took Revlimid 10 mg with Asprin. but the last few month I was complaining from a huge pain in my left leg after the CT scan and X-ray they found that there is another fracture in my bone that it might be the Myeloma is returned.
        I hope they were wrong > I don.t want it . next week I will have a biopsy to send to lab >
        PREY for me

        Liked by 1 person

      • Deb Gascoyne says:

        Fingers crossed it’s nothing to do with myeloma!! It could be something else. Good luck with the biopsy. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. mesholily says:

    Thanks dear the doctors told me about the results of the biopsy its Myeloma again .😢 I don’t know what to say . I know there is no cure for myeloma , but i lived in a hope that i could be in remission at least in 3 or 4 years . i have an appointment with raidologist next Tuesday. 💔
    I want to ask and search for another opinion and ask another doctor . Do you know oncologist or cancer centers??
    And thank you for your amazing blog🌸🌸


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